I went to bed upset with him last night. People tell you not to go to bed when you're upset or angry. I tell them, 'to hell with that'. I do feel bad that it meant that he couldn't sleep well either. I get a little moody sometimes and I just want to be mad.
Lately I've been wondering what Heavenly Father is doing with me. Why did He want me to be married now? I didn't plan on getting married till much later in life. Some times I wonder if I made the right decision. I was so independent, so okay being just me. Everything happened so quickly too. I never once had a freak out either. Not that I didn't have melt downs, oh I did. But no doubts. Ever.
I was making him muffins, because he likes to eat them for breakfast, and listening to Pandora Radio. This song from Brad Paisley came on, She's Everything:
She's a yellow pair of running shoes
A holey pair of jeans
She looks great in cheap sunglasses
She looks great in anything
She's I want a piece of chocolate
Take me to a movie
She's I can't find a thing to wear
Now and then she's moody
She's a Saturn with a sunroof
With her brown hair a-blowing
She's a soft place to land
And a good feeling knowing
She's a warm conversation
That I wouldn't miss for nothing
She's a fighter when she's mad
And she's a lover when she's loving
And she's everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
I talk about her, I go on and on and on
'Cause she's everything to me
She's a Saturday out on the town
And a church girl on Sunday
She's a cross around her neck
And a cuss word 'cause its Monday
She's a bubble bath and candles
Baby come and kiss me
She's a one glass of wine
And she's feeling kinda tipsy
She's the giver I wish I could be
And the stealer of the covers
She's a picture in my wallet
and my unborn children's mother
She's the hand that I'm holding
When I'm on my knees and praying
She's the answer to my prayer
And she's the song that I'm playing
And she's everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
I talk about her, I go on and on and on
'Cause she's everything to me
She's the voice I love to hear
Someday when I'm ninety
She's that wooden rocking chair
I want rocking right beside me
Everyday that passes
I only love her more
Yeah, she's the one
That I'd lay down my own life for
And she's everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
She's everything to me
Yeah she's everything to me
Everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
She's everything to me
I heard it for the first time a day or two ago. He said that this was his song for me. I felt so ashamed when I heard it again today.
Cameron is the easiest person in the world to love. He never complains. He tells me he loves me like a million times a day. He sings me awake every morning and holds me till I'm all the way awake. He makes me laugh all the time. I don't think he realizes how adorable he is.
I would have regretted it every single second of my life if I hadn't made him mine.
Cameron, marrying you was the BEST decision I could have ever made. I may not know what Heavenly Father is doing with my life, but I am grateful every second that He brought you into it. I don't think I could ever tell you enough how much I love you.
Thank you for loving me too.
